One Day Disaster
by Agetada
Summary: Sasuke realized a few things. He had gotten shorter. His legs were curvier than before. And he had turned into Sakura. Team 7 body switch, NaruSasuNaru, humour, Sasuke centric?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All the characters in this fic are Masashi Kishimoto's.

**Summary:** Sasuke realized a few things. He had gotten shorter. His legs were curvier than before. And he had turned into Sakura. (Team 7 body switch, NaruSasu, humour)

**A/N:** I thought this one up one night when I couldn't sleep, and wrote about two pages right then and there. I tried to make this humorous, I hope I succeeded... (And hopefully I chose the right rating.)

At first this was going to be a one shot, then I made this so long I decided to cut this into shorter parts. Also, I wrote this in the past tense, which I do not do often, so there might be mistakes here and there...

Anyways, I hope you like this fic. Please don't take it too seriously! ; D

* * *

Right from the very moment Sasuke woke up he knew, he just _knew_ it was going to be a disastrous day. Right from the very moment he regained consciouness from dreamland and his senses started working again.

Right from the very moment he realized his sheets smelled. And it wasn't the usual I-just-trained-yesterday-and-didn't-bother-taking-a-shower-or-anything-because-I-am-going-to-be-dirty-again-soon-so-who-cares? smell

This time it was a cherry blossom scent.

Maybe, just _maybe_ it could have been passed with the fact that he had spent the whole previous day with his team, including Sakura, so it could have rubbed on to him also.

And maybe Sakura had affected him so much that he had also changed his sheets to pale green ones. Because those were the ones he was laying on.

Or maybe he had just fallen asleep on Sakura's bed. That sounded like the best idea this far. No, he didn't _want_ to fall asleep on Sakura's bed willingly, but he preferred that over the whole 'I changed my sheets to green ones and started wearing cherry perfume and oh la la' thing. Because what else could this be? Pale green sheets, pale pink walls, a huge poster of half naked Sasuke after training on one wall…?

Oh no, this clearly wasn't his own room, he wasn't that self-centered. If it was, then this was the end of the world.

It couldn't be Naruto's room either, no way, Sasuke just couldn't imagine Naruto with this colour and that poster. Well, ok, he _could_ imagine him with just about anything, on and off, but the point is, it wasn't very close to the reality, now was it? Even though Sasuke had never been to Naruto's bedroom in three years he just couldn't accept that it would look like this. It would be orange, definitely. After all, he wears orange boxers too, - as Sasuke found out one day after coming to fetch Naruto too early and finding him making breakfast, only those famous boxers on - so of course the walls and sheets should match, right?

Kakashi was a whole another thing… But Sasuke hoped with all his might that this wasn't Kakashi's room.

For good ten seconds Sasuke actually believed his crazy idea that he had somehow remembered wrong and instead of going to his own bed like always, he had somehow ended up sleeping at Sakura's.

This thought was more than enough to calm him down, for those earlier mentioned ten seconds. But after that time of peace had passed, he stood up. And realized a few things.

He had gotten shorter.

His legs were curvier than before.

And he had turned into Sakura.

'Great', thought Sasuke as he stared at himself in the mirror that had been behind the bed. He twirled one pink bang around his finger and stared down at the pure white nightgown Sakura had been sleeping in. Thank god it wasn't see-through. Not that Sasuke would have cared. He didn't take even a second look as he stripped and dressed himself – or should he say, dressed Sakura. Another thing for desperate fangirls to write into their book called 'Reasons why Sasuke COULD be – but is definitely NOT – gay, and reasons against them'. Although there seemed to be no reason against that, at least, not any that wouldn't diss Sakura as a woman.

But the horrible yet awfully true fact that Sasuke now possessed Sakura's body – that didn't interest Sasuke at all although it must have been a fine female body, not that Sasuke had any experience on those – meant that someone out there must be in hold of Sasuke's own body.

Oh dear god, hopefully it was anyone else than Sakura. Because who knows what might happen when the old fangirliness – that didn't seem _that _old after Sasuke had seen the poster – in Sakura realized she had full control over the hot piece of meat called Uchiha Sasuke.

But what exactly _could_ she do? Except for run around telling Sasuke had always loved Sakura and no else, that she had the finest body in the world, _or_ she could go around acting like herself which would _totally_ ruin Sasuke's reputation… Maybe there was reason enough.

Sasuke had to find his body and hope to all the gods out there Sakura hadn't got it.

Anyone else except Sakura. Well, maybe not anyone, but… Naruto, maybe? Oh yes, that would be _interes_ – feh, whatever, Sasuke could just say it out loud as no one was hearing his thoughts anyway: it would be downright kinky.

As Naruto woke up that day he felt weird. Well, maybe not _weird_ but… naked. And no, feeling naked didn't feel weird to Naruto.

Trying to shake the feeling off Naruto tried to get some more sleep, as today he had nothing important. Except for a meeting with his team. But they knew Naruto was tired after the mission yesterday, where he had done practically everything – except for all those small little details Sasuke and Sakura wanted to have the credit for – but anyways! He had the right to sleep a bit more.

And surely he would have done so, except that the feeling of being naked just kept on bugging him. He wouldn't have forgotten to put on at least some underwear, would he?

So Naruto decided he had gotten enough sleep and opened his eyes.

And immediately locked eyes with a half naked female.

A _poster_ one, though.

"What the hell!" cried Naruto, and shut up immediately after, because the voice that had spoken was wrong. Why the hell did he sound like someone else, like some… middle-aged man in the middle of a life crisis!

Maybe it was all because of the bed cover that still lay on his mouth, covering half of his face. Of course, that must be it. No way had Naruto aged thirty years in one night. Unless this was like the story where the pretty girl slept one hundred years too long and grew all wrinkled and all the way to the end thought she looked still as pretty as ever!

Naruto stood up and was about to let out another cry of horror. What the hell was he doing in a room with one, two, three, _four_ posters of half naked women _and_ a bookshelf full of Icha Icha books!

Unless…

_Unless…_

He hadn't slept with Kakashi-sensei, had he?

Naruto jumped up from the bed and ran around the room, to his horror finding definite proofs of the room being Kakashi's, but no sign of the man itself.

Maybe it was only good. He could just gather his clothes and get the hell out of here as if nothing happened… if anything even happened.

Naruto turned to inspect every part of himself, but stopped even before he had started. Seemed like he had somehow grown in one night. And not just by height. Did losing virginity do that?

Did it also somehow get rid of the seal on his stomach? _And_ turn his hair gray?

No, Naruto didn't think so.

Though he truly hoped it could have been the case, because the truth he saw in the mirror was just _too_ much. Too much.

But luckily, being Naruto, he immediately found a good thing about this whole thing.

He could finally see Kakashi's face without mask.

Sakura woke up, though still half asleep, and stood up, her eyes closed because it would take too much energy opening them when she could easily walk around on instinct. Though today it seemed as if she had somehow forgotten where the door was, because on her way out of her bedroom to the bathroom she crashed to the walls seven times.

'Maybe I just drank too much yesterday', Sakura decided as she closed the - bigger than she remebered - bathroom door and wriggled out of her boxers. Now that she thought about it, didn't the house look much like Sasuke's? Had she finally managed to fulfill her lifelong dream of being Sasuke's - or rather, Sasuke being hers as her inner self reminded.

'Oh, that would be something...' Sakura thought as she washed her body, going over her firm muscles, flat chest and -

What the heck?

Sakura stopped and turned the shower off. Slowly, slowly, she turned to look down at herself. Or should she say; himself.

Her first reaction was a bloodcurdling scream.

_And_ second reaction.

Thank god by the time she got to the point of third reaction, instead of screaming she decided to run out of the bathroom and find the nearest mirror, that actually happened to be in the bathroom, so she had to run all the way back there just to prove her fear true.

Uchiha Sasuke stared back at her from the mirror.

As Sakura got over her shock - which took only about four and half minutes - a smirk much like Sasuke's covered her face. This wasn't too bad, now was it? It seemed as if she somehow had gotten full control over this sexy body that followed the name Uchiha Sasuke.

She could do some seriously good things with this. Oh yes, she would stain Uchiha Sasuke's reputation forever... She laughed evilly. _And_ she could show those _freaking irritating_ fangirls that it was about time they left Sasuke alone.

Yes. She would do that. Sasuke was way too soft with them. They needed some rock-hard proof that Sasuke wasn't interested in them.

And what better way to do that than show them he already had someone. And taken the situation with Sakura in Sasuke's body - oh, how nice it sounded! -, it would be only fair if Sasuke had gotten Sakura's. Maybe he would finally start appreciating women more...! Well, heck with other women. Just Sakura!

Letting out an evil laugh Sakura grabbed a towel and was about to wrap it around Sasuke's delicate waist when she stopped. A grin more evil than the pervious one darkened her face.

There was no rush, was there? So what else did you expect a young woman having a control over her one and only lifelong crush would do?

Experiment, of course.

Just like any other day, Kakashi woke up but didn't bother getting out of bed anytime soon. He was going to be late anyways, so why hurry? Besides, he had had the most weirdest dream and after that it would take a while to think up even a slightly beliavable excuse of why he was late.

In the dream he had woken up and found himself in Naruto's apartment. And no, he hadn't slept with Naruto in the dream. Instead, he _was_ Naruto.

Kakashi chuckled at the crazy idea again and buried his head deep under the pillow. Maybe he had spent too much time with the boy, since he had started having dreams like that.

He stood up on the bed, yawning widely and stretching his perfectly tanned arms. The sun shone nicely on the light orange walls of his room.

Wait a minute.

Kakashi frowned, then opened his eyes.

The walls were still the wrong color. His arms were still too tan.

Kakashi opened his eyes even wider and rubbed them hard, hoping it would make the dream disappear. After all, he was awake now, right? No way could he still be having that dream where he had been Naruto.

Though it looked a lot like it. Disturbingly lot. The room _was_ clearly Naruto's, who else would have orange walls, a rather cute frog shaped pillow and Naruto's clothes spattered all over the floor. Unless Sasuke's - supposedly secret - fetish had gone too far...

But the tan skin was an evidence not to be taken too lightly. And the blond hair. _And_ the seal on his stomach.

"Man..." Kakashi muttered and rubbed his hair. No matter how long he had wanted some of his dream come true, this was not the one he had wanted to experience. Not that there was anything wrong with Naruto, but -

Wait a minute.

If Kakashi was in Naruto's body, did that mean that Naruto was in Kakashi's?

A horrified look took over Kakashi as he thought of all the horrors Naruto could do with him.

My face!

With only the thought of saving his dearly masked face from being exposed so bluntly Kakashi jumped from the bed, jumped into the first trousers he grabbed and ran out of the house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** All the characters in this fic are Masashi Kishimoto's.

**Summary:** Sasuke realized a few things. He had gotten shorter. His legs were curvier than before. And he had turned into Sakura. (Team 7 body switch, NaruSasu, humour)

* * *

Cheeks flushed a slight pink Sakura walked through the busiest street of Konoha to Team 7's usual meeting place. She was in no hurry. She loved the looks she - or rather Sasuke's body - got from most of the passing women and, strangely enough, even from some men.

After her experiments - that were the reason she still was blushing - Sakura had rummaged through Sasuke's wardrobe in search of some over-sexy clothes. But, to her disappointment, Sasuke had a very small variety of clothes, so Sakura had had to settle for the trousers Sasuke usually wore - though she wore them low on her hips - and a sleeveless black shirt that looked like another skin on Sasuke's muscular body.

Sakura chuckled to herself, not noticing the girl who passed out from her sexiness. This was so much fun! Now she could finally pay back Sasuke for always ignoring her and only looking at Naruto, because she had figured out the best way to have her revenge on Sasuke _and _the fangirls at the same time.

It only depended on Naruto...

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura heard an irritating high-pitched voice call for her. God, did they seriously think _anyone _would sound cute like _that_?

Sakura turned around, a slight smile on her lips, ready to push her plan into action. Two of Sasuke's nameless fangirls were standing in front of her, blushing furiously, glancing down at Sakura.

"Morning", Sakura answered, giving them a smile.

The blush on their faces turned darker and for a moment Sakura feared they would faint right then and there. Sadly, they didn't. "Ah, Sa-Sasuke-kun, y-you look s-somewhat..." fangirl number two stuttered under Sakura's gaze.

"Different", fangirl number one with irritating voice finished. "But hot as ever, of course", she hurried to add and flashed a flirty smile.

"Oh god", Sakura said and turned her head slightly away from them, as if ashamed of something. "You noticed already?"

"Noticed what?" fangirl number one asked.

Sakura turned to look at them, a slightly concerned look on her eyes. "I was going to tell my team first, but now that you noticed already..." Sakura sighed dramatically and took fangirl number one's right hand and fangirl number two's left to hers. Both of them looked ready to die of a nosebleed, but bravely they were holding it back just to hear what 'Sasuke' had to say next. "I am sorry to disappoint you after all these years, but..."

Sakura kept a small break to see if they yet suspected anything. After all, Sasuke didn't usually smile or talk this much, especially to his fanclub memebers. But the two girls just held their breaths and waited for Sakura's next words.

"I'm gay."

Fangirl number one screeched and fangirl number two fainted.

Afraid fangirl number one would kill her, or worse, go screaming around this new information too quickly, Sakura took both her hands and pulled her closer. "Please don't tell of this to anyone", she whispered to her ear. She felt the girl melt in her arms. "I am coming out of closet today, but I want to do it on my own pace." Sakura looked at the girls eyes with her black ones. "I hope you will support me and not tell anyone."

The girl nodded furiously, her eyes big and a few droplets of blood coming out of her nose.

Sakura smirked in her mind and decided to take the scene a bit further. "I have my eyes on someone already..." she said, closing her eyes half-way as if dreaming of the one she was talking about.

The fangirl let out a squeal and blushed furiously. Sakura could see she was imagining Sasuke with a male as hot as him, doing X- rated things to each other. The flow of blood from her nose turned visible.

"I don't know how I've managed to keep my hands off him all this time. All the time we have trained together, slept so close to each other on missions..." Sakura felt her body turn hotter and hotter as she imagined Naruto and Sasuke after a day of training, both panting, taking off their sweaty shirts, gazing at each other...

The fangirl must have felt Sakura's body pressure, because with a final squeal she fainted from a massive nosebleed.

Smirking, her face hot, Sakura turned to continue her way.

Running as fast as he could in Naruto's body, Kakashi finally arrived at his home. Foaming with anger and panting from the running, he kicked the door in and rushed inside. "Uzumaki!" he yelled as he searched through every inch of the house. "Uzumaki! Get here this minute!"

After a whole lot of yelling and running around Kakashi decided Naruto had done wisely and had run before Kakashi had caught him. Damn that wise brat. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath, then set off to find his team again. Surely it couldn't be this hard to catch his own body run by Naruto, the orange ninja?

Then he spotted the young Uchiha, walking like there was no problem in the world, a cocky smirk on his face. Kakashi jumped to his side and raised his hand in greeting. "Yo."

Sasuke froze, one foot stretched forwards in a step, and turned slowly to stare at Kakashi. His eyes turned as big as plates as he started scanning Kakashi - or rather Naruto - up and down, his eyes sticking to his lower body. "Ka-Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke stuttered, and Kakashi finally remembered he didn't have any shirt on. And no shoes, either, not that Sasuke seemed to care after the first discovery.

"Yep. Believe it", he said, quoting Naruto's famous 'dattebayo' and sounded like Kakashi imitating Naruto very poorly.

Then Sasuke started chuckling like a madman. "Perfect. Now I can fulfill my revenge on Sasuke for ignoring me all these years..."

Finally something clicked inside Kakashi's messed up brain. "Sakura?" he whispered, leaning over, as if wanting no one to hear. And maybe that was for the best, since if anyone heard Naruto calling Sasuke 'Sakura', they might just well send him straight to the hospital's mental care section. And Kakashi didn't need any more troubles on his way to beat up Naruto.

"Yes", Sakura chuckled, "and I need your help."

Kakashi stared at her, almost scared. Then he shrugged. "If I can have _my _revenge on that orange brat, then I'm in."

"Perfect."

While waiting for his team to arrive at their meeting place at the bridge, Sasuke had had the time to scare all the passing people out of their skins with his glaring - and one straight to the river when he asked the time -, mutter about thirteen times why this day sucked more than any day before, and had managed to create an inch deep hole in the ground right at the end of the bridge, showing everyone where he had been walking back and forth.

His team was _late_. And not just Naruto-late, or even Kakashi-late. They were late a whole lot of seventeen and half minutes! Even the usually early Sakura, which was certain evidence that Sakura had his body, because why else would she be late if she hadn't fainted because of Sasuke's sexiness.

"Yo!"

Sasuke twitched. No, he didn't want to kill anyone... he just wanted to torture someone slowly, but not to death so he could torture them again, and again, and again... But when he turned around, he just blushed partly because of his anger and partly because it was Naruto in front of him, not Kakashi. Naruto in Kakashi's body, though, so his blush was not as red as it could have been.

"Dobe."

"How did you know?" Naruto asked surprised, running his hand through Kakashi's gray hair. He had a mask on, but he had forgotten to put the hitai-ate over Kakashi's Sharingan and was staring at Sasuke with both eyes. And he had somehow managed to find a bright red shirt to go with the normal ninja trousers Kakashi wears.

Kakashi's reputation would be stained forever after this... Sasuke sighed. "Your chakra's still the same." His blush deepened as Naruto walked over to him and sat onto the bridge's railing, swinging his legs. He gazed at Sasuke, a faraway look in his eyes.

Sasuke twitched again, not because of murderous rage, but because he looked hot. Because _Kakashi's_ body looked hot.

He was going insane.

Or maybe it was just the knowledge that it was Naruto, not Kakashi, because no matter how much Sasuke tried, he couldn't remember any moment when he had thought Kakashi-sensei was hot. Well, maybe once or twice when he had walked on him walking around half naked, but that didn't count... And, well, just the thought of Naruto would make anything hot and sexy and wonderful and all the positive adjectives there is.

"Hey, wanna see under his mask?" Naruto suddenly asked.

Sasuke's heart jumped at this. He hadn't even thought of it. The chance to finally see under Kakashi-sensei's mask... It would be another pointless dream come true! "Whatever", he said, trying not to sound over-excited.

But Naruto just grinned and crossed his arms, turning away. "Oh, not then. I thought you'd _want _to see it, but whatever..."

Sasuke swore in his mind. Damn Naruto! "Usuratonkachi..."

"Oi, Sakura-chan, you've spent too much time with Sasuke: you're starting to sound like him!"

Naruto and Sasuke turned to the voice, and stared at the grinning Naruto and smirking Sasuke.

"Oi! What the hell are you doing!" Naruto screamed suddenly, making everyone's ears ring, and jumped to his body. "Put some clothes on!"

"Oh yeah..." Naruto's body mumbled. "There was this artist who wanted a young model, and - "

"Liar!" Naruto yelled, pointing at his body. There was no doubt anymore: it was Kakashi in control of Naruto's body now. So that left only Sakura...

Sasuke turned to Sakura - leaving the arguing Kakashi and Naruto alone - , giving her a slight glare that was, in fact, his everyday look. "Sakura..."

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"You haven't... done anything with me, have you?"

"Oh no, Sasuke-kun. Nothing", Sakura said smiling her usual smile that looked particularly creepy on Sasuke's features. And maybe it was because of the way she answered too fast, or because of the creepy smile, Sasuke didn't believe her. And Sakura sensed it.

"Well, in fact, there was this one fangirl..."

'Oh no.' Sasuke encouraged himself to hear the rest.

"...who fainted when I walked past. But I swear, Sasuke-kun, I didn't do anything!" Sakura blinked her eyes and pouted, looking much less creepier than with the smile and almost - Sasuke had to face the facts no matter how self-centered he might have sounded - cute.

"Hn, whatever."

"But did _you_ do anything to me, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke turned to give the almost hopeful-looking Sakura a blank gaze.

"Why would I want to?"

"Yes, why would Sasuke want to?" Kakashi appeared behind Sasuke, his eyebrows like living worms the way they wiggled and waggled around. It seemed now that Kakashi was in Naruto's body, he had discovered new depths in the eyebrow-raising department.

Sasuke twitched and tried to get away from Kakashi, whose hot, half naked body that really was Naruto's - Naruto's for god's sake! Damn Kakashi for not having any respect on others! - was dangerously close to Sasuke's. And yes, Sasuke would have wanted to end it right then and there and not ever, ever again start talking about why he wouldn't want to do anything to Sakura.

But of course the loud-mouthed idiot had to interfere.

"Why would Sasuke want to _what_?" Naruto-Kakashi's head hovered over Sasuke's red face, staring straight into his eyes. Then, when Sasuke refused to return his gaze and to answer him, he turned to Kakashi, who had a grin very smilar to Naruto's on his face. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, dobe", Sasuke hissed.

"Sasuke wouldn't do anything to me!" Sakura cried out loud, maybe even a bit _too _loud, because a few passers-by turned to stare at them.

Kakashi waved at them, grinning.

"Am I that hideous?" Sakura asked, pouting. Then she turned to Naruto. "Naruto, if you had gotten my body, would you have done something to me?"

"Do what?" Naruto blinked.

All three slapped their foreheads and growled. Damn innocent Naruto.

"No I wouldn't. Why? Would you?"

At this Sakura grinned sheepishly and rubbed her neck. Sasuke twitched again and even forgot about the too naked Kakashi-Naruto too close to him.

"Sakura, you _did _something after all..."

"It was your fault!" Sakura defended herself. "I mean, are all men like this? I never knew. You must have it rough."

"Remind me again what we are talking about", Kakashi interrupted, with an Icha Icha book in his hands. Actually, he had a good hunch of what Sakura meant, as they had walked together to the meeting place, surprisingly only once stopping on the way, but he was not going to say it out loud. It was Sakura plotting against Sasuke, not Kakashi. He had nothing to do with this, so he acted only when it seemed like fun stepping in to mix things up. Besides, that would be a bit too harsh, even for Sasuke.

"I have no idea", Sasuke growled and sidestepped from Kakashi's uncomfortable closeness right into Naruto's lap. He blushed once again. Damn Sakura's good blood circulation.

Sakura grinned once again, this time more confidently. "Oh, I was only talking about your clothes. It was rough choosing an outfit that would bring out only your good sides, Sasuke-kun."

'Well done, Sakura', Sasuke thinks bitterly.

"Yeah, Kakashi!" Naruto stepped in the conversation, taking a step ahead in his enthusiasm. Right into Sasuke's back. "It was a real pain trying to find something not so depressing in your closet. It's all joonin clothes, black and blue and black again."

"But Naruto, look into the positive sides", Kakashi said, not lifting his gaze from Icha Icha University, volume two. "If you had somehow ended up in Sasuke's body, you would have it even worse. I bet he has finally painted even his room black."

"I haven't!"

"In fact", Sakura interrupted. "He has pink boxers."

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Why didn't the birds sing this loud three seconds earlier? That way Sasuke would still have some dignity left.

"Really?" Kakashi and Naruto voice at the same time, Kakashi finally lifting his gaze from the book and Naruto leaning over Sasuke to get closer to Sakura.

"Yes", Sakura said, turning a bit sideways to the two, lifting her shirt and pulling her trousers down, revealing the pink fabric. "I put them on because they looked so cute..."

"Hey, those are the ones I gave you!" Naruto said, turning to face Sasuke, causing them to look like they were kissing to everyone who was on the other end of the bridge. And there happened to be a lot of people, most of them people having nothing better to do than enjoy the scene Team 7 was causing.

"You gave them?" This time it was Kakashi and Sakura crying out at the exactly same time.

"Yeah. 'Cause he has just black clothes, I thought pink would be a good joke." Naruto grinned, wrapping his arms around the constantly red Sasuke who had finally stopped blaming Sakura's blood circulation. "I would've bought him orange, but I have orange ones and they might have gotten mixed up..."

Kakashi's grip at the book loosened as his mind filled with situations where Naruto and Sasuke would strip out of their clothes without remembering where they had put them. Sakura, having the exact same thoughts, turned tomato red, gripping the hem of her shirt. Blood was dripping down her nose.

"That's it!" Sasuke screamed and turned on his heels - about inch and half high and surprisingly comfortable walking on - and bumped straight into Naruto's chest. It was a wonder he didn't have a nosebleed too, because of the crash or something else. "I'm not listening to your boxer conversations anymore." He may have screamed a bit too loudly, because as he rushed across the bridge, the audience that had gathered there looked at him, their eyes wide.

"Hey! Wait! Sa - uh, Sakura-san!"

Kakashi and Sakura stared after them.

Kakashi grinned. "That went well, right?"

"Onto part B."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** All the characters in this fic are Masashi Kishimoto's.

**Summary:** Sasuke realized a few things. He had gotten shorter. His legs were curvier than before. And he had turned into Sakura. (Team 7 body switch, NaruSasu, humour)

**A/N:** Nice to hear you like this crazy story. I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment!

* * *

"Are you ready, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura looked at Kakashi, a cocky smirk on her face.

"Ready", Kakashi answered, grinning quite scarily. He still had no shirt on, as their plan would work better with a half naked 'Naruto'.

"Let's go."

Together, hand in hand, they set out into the most crowded street in Konoha, and immediately seemed to stop the whole village. People stopped in mid-move, one leg in the air ready to take another step, their mouths hanging open. Was that really Uzumaki Naruto walking around half naked with Uchiha Sasuke?

Sakura gave everyone a soft, almost apologetic smile, and all the women nearby seemed to either melt or pass out from a nosebleed. Then she spotted a big group of fangirls. She smirked. "Perfect..." Pulling Kakashi behind, she made her way to the girls, smiling her way through the crowd.

"Hello", she said once she got to the group of fangirls.

"He-hello", the fangirls answered in unison.

Sakura gave them a small smile, pulling Kakashi closer to her. He put his bare arm around her. "I'm glad I met you this soon..." she said softly, glancing at the fangirls. "I wanted you to be the first ones to know, as you have the right to know."

The girls looked from Sakura to Kakashi, then to Sakura again.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun", fangirl number three said, her eyes on Kakashi's hand on Sakura's hips. "You don't mean...?"

"I am afraid I do." Sakura looked at Kakashi, signalling for him to continue.

"We have finally come out of the closet", Kakashi said, letting his hand go a bit lower, careful not to touch her too much. He would feel it afterwards.

Two of the fangirls fainted, and Sakura surpressed her urge to laugh. They bought this act almost too well!

"Yes, I've finally come out." Sakura glanced at the girls, looking them in the eyes. "I hope you will support me."

"Of course we will!" they squealed in delight.

Suddenly, a fangirl pushed through the group to face Sakura.

Sakura swallowed. Did she doubt them?

"Of course we support you", she said, smiling The Fangirl Smile, and Sakura let out the breath she had been holding. "But for holding this information from us for this long, we want something..."

Sakura swallowed again.

The fangirl drew out a camera and smiled brightly. "Please pose for our newly founded Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto-fanclub."

This was going to be a disastrous day. Yes, Sasuke had known it the moment he had woken up. Maybe he should have just stayed in bed this whole day? Or better, he should have run to knock Sakura out cold the moment he realized what had happened.

If he could just go back in time...

"Hey, Sasuke?"

Sasuke sighed and turned to Naruto hovering right behind him. "What?"

Naruto looked at the bright blue sky, apparently chewing on his lip under the mask. He had finally realized to put the hitai-ate over the Sharingan, and looked on the whole a lot like Kakashi now. Except for the I-just-got-out-of-the-closet-and-want-to-show-it-to-everyone shirt. "Have you ever used the boxers I got you?"

What was with the boxers? Was today some national Boxer Day? "Yes..." Actually, he had used them just this week. And the previous week. _And _the week before that...

Naruto grinned. "Show me one day."

Sasuke twitched. And blushed. "You want me to strip for you?"

Naruto shrugged, laughing. "You owe me some nakedness. Remember all the times you've seen me without clothes."

Oh yes, Sasuke remebered them clearly... But that didn't mean he would surrender this quickly. "That was once. And it was because Kakashi sent me to get you."

"That was when I had boxers on. Remember the times when I had just taken the shower, or was changing..."

"Alright, alright!" Sasuke interrupted cuickly. He didn't want to remember now. His blood sugar was already low, as he hadn't eaten any breakfast. "I'll strip for you one day. In private."

Naruto grinned again, and Sasuke feared he was going to faint and fall off the stone wall. His grin was dazzling, albeit he still wore a mask and looked just like Kakashi. But anyways.

"Wanna see his face now?"

Sasuke blinked in surprise and was going to answer 'whatever' when he remembered what had happened the last time. He nodded.

Slowly Naruto lifted his fingers and pulled the mask down, very, very slowly. Without realizing it, Sasuke had started to lean closer to have a better look. He somehow feared that Kakashi would suddenly appear somewhere and ruin this grand moment.

Then the mask was off.

Sasuke blinked. "Dobe, there's nothing strange about him." Yes, he was disappointed. All these years, and then _nothing_. Nothing!

Naruto just smiled an unusually wide smile, his mouth shut. Then he lost it and started laughing and grinning like a madman.

And then Sasuke saw it.

"You should've seen your face!" Naruto howled. "You looked like someone stole you hitai-ate!"

Sasuke twiched. _Again_. It was becoming his Move Of The Day. "Black... gums?"

"Yeah. Imagine. I always though it would be something weird, like a snake's tongue, but _black gums_?"

"Maybe it's... a disease?" Not that Sasuke could think of anything that would blacken the gums. Unless Kakashi never brushed his teeth. But then they would have already rotten into his mouth, and they looked perfectly fine to Sasuke. Unless they were fake...

Naruto shrugged, opening his mouth to answer something, when a yell stopped him.

"GOOD MORNING, KAKASHI, MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"

It felt as if there was a small earthquake. The ground shook, and the stone wall shook, and Sasuke lost his balance, falling straight ahead.

It was a déjà vu.

Gai stared at the scene on the stone wall, that to him seemed to be envolving Sakura and Kakashi, not Sasuke and Naruto. Lee stared, his eyes big and his mouth wide open. Ten-Ten stared, blushing furiously. Neji stared, his eyes bigger than they had ever been or will ever be.

Naruto and Sasuke had once again fallen into an accidental kiss. And to make matters worse, they were still in the wrong bodies, so everyone who saw them- and again there seemed to have gathered an audience - saw Kakashi and Sakura sharing an intimate moment. And Gai wasn't helping at all.

"Kakashi! That is not acceptable! Sakura-san is your comrade! Your teammate! You have already lived through the best times of your youth! Let her live her own! Please, Kakashi, don't do this to her!" Gai was already begging on his knees.

Naruto drew from the kiss, his cheeks flushed, and turned to Gai. "Look, this isn't what it looks like - "

"And when was the last time you brushed your teeth!"

"Yes it is", Sasuke said, ignoring Gai, and pulled Naruto back to another kiss.

"Sakura-san!" Lee had joined Gai on the ground, begging Kakashi to stop and crying over 'Sakura's' lost youth.

"Uchiha Sasuke is gay with Uzumaki Naruto!"

"What the heck!" Naruto and Sasuke pulled apart and stared at the girl running on the street, yelling on. "Well that was _quick_."

"Kakashi and Sakura..." Sasuke stood up and turned to the direction where the girl came from. Groups of girls and some boys, even middle-aged men were running there. "What the hell have they done!"

"C'mon."

As Sasuke and Naruto arrived at the scene, they froze. It seemed as if the whole Konoha was there!

"What the hell are they doing?" Sasuke growled.

"Let's find out", Naruto said and grabbed Sasuke's hand, then jumped to the centre of the crowd, causing headaches to the people he used as steps.

When they finally got to Sakura and Kakashi, they froze again.

Oh how Sasuke hoped he would have knocked Sakura out the very moment he realized what was going on...

There Sakura and Kakashi - or Naruto and Sasuke as everyone saw them -, both half naked, were holding each other in intimate ways as dozens of cameras flashed around them, once in a while changing their posture to an even more perverted one.

Sasuke twitched. The pink boxers were showing.

"We gotta stop them!" Naruto whispered to Sasuke.

"But how?" Sasuke growled. "The fangirls will kill me if I try to tear them apart."

"Well, you're Sakura. Act like her! Go scream about her love for you or something."

"Well you're Kakashi! _You _do something!"

"Fine, I'll go." Naruto turns to go to Sakura and Kakashi. "You chicken..."

"Usuratonkachi! I'm not a chicken!"

"Then start screaming!"

Sasuke breathed deep, then threw himself onto Sakura. "Sasuke-kun! I'm so glad you finally came out of the closet!"

"Sa-Sakura?" Sakura stammered and turned to look at Sasuke. "What are you doing here?" She was white as snow, although that was Sasuke's normal shade of skin, so she was actually whiter than snow.

Not that anyone cared about Sakura's skin colour...

"Oh, I was actually looking for you two..." Sasuke smirked at Sakura and pulled Naruto next to him. "Oh, I'm so happy! It seems we all have finally confessed our true feelings today."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Sakura asked, turning from Sasuke to Naruto and to Sasuke again. Even Kakashi was pale now.

The audience seemed to hold in their breath, most of them guessing what was going to happen next.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun..." Sasuke sighed, grinning in his mind. This was fun! "You have been so wrapped up in Naruto you haven't noticed anything else going on in your team, have you, Sasuke-kun?"

"And how I tried to train you..." Naruto sighed disappointedly and pulled Sasuke closer to him.

Sakura and Kakashi stared as Sasuke and Naruto started sharing intimate kisses, right in front of the great audience, having no shame at all.

"That's enough!" Sakura said and pulled Sasuke away from Naruto. "I need to talk to you two."

Mission accomplished.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** All the characters in this fic are Masashi Kishimoto's.

**Summary:** Sasuke realized a few things. He had gotten shorter. His legs were curvier than before. And he had turned into Sakura. (Team 7 body switch, NaruSasu, humour)

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?" Sakura screamed as soon as they were away from the fans. Well, _almost_ away, as there were so many people there it would have taken quite a time to get totally away from them all.

"What the hell were _you _thinking?" Sasuke hissed. "Selling me and Naruto away like that..."

"Actually, those were free pictures", Kakashi interrupted.

Sakura and Sasuke death glared at him.

Kakashi sweatdropped and backed away. "Ok, I'll shut up now..."

"That was my revenge! My only chance to finally get back at you for always ignoring and underestimating me! _And _for crushing my childhood dreams of liking you!"

"So you decided it would be fun revealing my sexuality to everyone? And to sell us on top of that? For free!"

"Well it was - !" Sakura stopped for a moment, her rage completely gone. "_What _did you say?"

"And you just _had _to show those boxers to everyone?"

Sakura twitched, not caring about the boxers. "Did you say... reveal? Reveal? _Reveal_?" She was almost schreeching at the last word.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. What was wrong with 'reveal'? "Yes."

Sakura stared.

Kakashi was reading his Icha Icha in peace. "It seems all that training killed your famous woman's instinct..."

"Shut up!"

Kakashi was sent flying.

Sakura twitched again, her fists still ready to punch someone. And despite the half naked body of Sasuke's she still controlled, she looked more Sakura than ever.

And it was _very _scary.

Why, oh why hadn't Sasuke knocked Sakura off and locked her up in some prison deep underground? Though there was one good thing about that day that in itself compensated for this whole day. It would have made up for a whole disastrous week, if it were to continue... And that one good thing just put his hand on Sasuke's head.

"Stop that, dobe", Sasuke muttered.

"Gotta enjoy this one time I'm much taller than you", Naruto answered.

Sakura stared at them. She looked torn between the choices of having a nosebleed and shattering the ground. She seemed to have chosen the first one. "So... that there... it wasn't just acting?"

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other, and Naruto grinned as Sasuke had to look up to reach Naruto's eyes, or rather eye, as the other was still hidden under his hitai-ate. Naruto grabbed Sasuke closer to him and kissed him again.

Sakura's nose started bleeding.

Oh yes, this one good thing could have made up for even a whole month of disasters... not that Sasuke needed any more, thank you very much.

"So, was that acting?" Naruto asked and looked deep into Sasuke's - or rather Sakura's - green eyes.

"Oh, if you just knew how long he's dreamed of this... and your boxers..."

"Shut up!"

Kakashi was sent flying again.

Naruto twitched and looked after him. "Oi teme, y'know, that _is _my body after all..."

"Would you rather like me punching _you_?" Sasuke asked, raising his fist and smirking.

"Quit the flirting!" Sakura suddenly yelled and slapped Sasuke and punched Naruto. Not enough to send neither to the other end of the village, but to the ground atleast. "This is serious business!" She foamed with rage, standing above Naruto and Sasuke who seemed to shrink. Maybe, if they just shrunk enough, they could escape Sakura... "You kissed each other in front of everyone! Everyone! I bet some even took pictures!"

"Small compared to what _you _did..." Sasuke muttered.

Sakura stomped too close to his hand. Her eyes were red, and not because of Sharingan. Oh no, she didn't need Sharingan to kill the two. "But _you _atleast are together! I have no intention of even touching Kakashi like that ever again!"

"Yes, you should have thought of us." Kakashi had again appeared from the other side of the village where Sasuke had sent him. He had The Kakashi Look in his eyes. Sasuke and Naruto twitched. Naruto with The Kakashi Look is something one should never see. "People might think I am some kind of pervert, making out with my underage teammate..."

"Yeah, might..." Naruto rolled his eyes.

Kakashi glared at him. "I'm just glad Gai didn't see you. I would never hear the end of it if he saw me with Sakura. 'Oh, my youthful rival, how can you steal away her youth!'" Kakashi imitated Gai so well Naruto and Sasuke almost feared he actually _saw_ their first make out session on the wall. But if that had happened, they would be dead by now, and as they still feel their hot skins against each other they must still be quite alive.

Suddenly Sakura chuckled. The men - with one of them looking suspiciously lot like the woman called Haruno Sakura - stared at her, scared of what she had come up with. "You know what, Naruto, Sasuke... I'll forgive you. With one condition."

"What is it?" Sasuke asked suspiciously, finally standing up from the ground.

"I wanna see Kakashi-sensei's face."

Naruto and Sasuke sighed. Nothing serious, then.

"Ok, sure", Naruto grinned and raised his hand to remove the mask. Then, just as he had pulled it back two millimetres...

"Do that and I'll go jogging around the village naked, telling everyone I, Uzumaki Naruto, really love Maito Gai and that the Naruto with Sasuke was just a clone because Sasuke has a secret, abnormal fetish with Uzumaki Naruto's ass and loves threesomes with lots of honey."

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

"Why the hell are you attacking against me?" Sasuke asked, twitching. His Move Of The Day was slowly becoming his Face Of The Day. "I don't have your body."

Kakashi shrugged and pulled his Icha Icha out once again. "You're together now, so I might as well count you as one."

"Nice logic", Sakura said, and Sasuke stared at her. He really, really hoped she was joking. Damn Sasuke's emotional face; he couldn't tell if Sakura was joking or not!

"Hey, does any of you have any idea how we even ended up like this?" Naruto suddenly asked.

"Good question", Kakashi said, lifting his face from his book.

"And gimme that!" Naruto snatched the book away and put it in his pocket. Kakashi pouted and stared lovingly after it.

"It looks like you're staring at his butt", Sasuke said matter-of-factly, glaring at Kakashi. He didn't need any rumours about Kakashi and Naruto on top of all the mess there was already.

"We should think about all the things we did together yesterday", Sakura said, putting her hands on her hips. "Maybe the answer is one of them." She pushed her hips subconsciously forward in a slightly feminine manner, yet again causing a few passing fangirls to faint because of sudden nosebleed. She stared at them. "Seriously, Sasuke, I didn't know being this hot was this hard. I think I've made about thirteen females and six males faint today."

"Without those who fainted because of our show", Kakashi mentioned offhandly. "That would make it about fifty."

Sasuke twitched. Yes, definitely the Face Of The Day. "Let's stay in the point, shall we", he growled, rubbing his temples.

"Could it be the mission? Or the training?" Naruto suggested.

Sasuke snorted.

"Yeah right, we sweated so hard we changed... Especially Kakashi-sensei", Sakura muttered. It seemed like some of Sasuke's personality was rubbing on her through Sasuke's body. It must have been the sweat.

"Are you implying something?" Kakashi asked, giving her The Kakashi Glare, a murderous version of The Kakashi Look. Sakura decided to shut up.

"Hey, you have any better ideas? Or you say it's Ichiraku's fault?" Naruto slapped the back of Sasuke's head offhandedly.

"Now that you mention it..." Kakashi started.

"I did feel pretty tired right after we ate there", Sakura nodded and rubbed her chin.

"You don't say they tried to poison us!" Naruto gasped overdramatically. The three sweat dropped at the sight.

"Maybe they've been filming us the whole time and will sell the video later with high price", Kakashi said.

They all glanced warily around them. There wasn't anyone filming them with anything, though a small group of fangirls and boys were close to them, a camera ready in their hands.

Sasuke glared at them and they ran away, screaming.

"I think the Ichiraku idea sounds good", Sakura suggested and slapped Sasuke. "And you, try to act lady-like."

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry Sasuke-kun! But I didn't want them to see me like this! I look a total mess!" Sasuke chirped with high-pitched voice and fluttered his eyelashes.

The others shivered in fear.

"Let's go!" Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto yelled in unison started running towards Ichiraku, Naruto dragging Sasuke along.


	5. Chapter 5

**Dislaimer:** All the characters in this fic are Masashi Kishimoto's.

**Summary:** Sasuke realized a few things. He had gotten shorter. His legs were curvier than before. And he had turned into Sakura. (Team 7 body switch, NaruSasu, humour)

**A/N:** Next up is the epilogue with The Day After The Disaster.

* * *

"Oi, old man!" Naruto yelled as soon as they had stopped in front of Ichiraku's. "You there?"

"Shut up!" Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi all slapped him.

"Naruto?" Ichiraku's owner appeared behind the curtain and stared at Team 7 in front of him, all looking downright weird.

"Yo!" Kakashi raised a hand in greeting.

Naruto slapped him.

The old man stared.

Sakura stepped forward, trying to save the situation. "Umh, excuse us, but we had lunch here yesterday, and it tasted unusually delicious, so we were wondering if you used some new spice or something...?"

The old man stared. "Coming out of the closet sure did you good, Sasuke."

Sasuke - who seemed just like Sakura to the old man - twitched.

Sakura - looking like Sasuke - giggled. "Oh, thank you. I'm glad everyone has taken it so well and - "

Sasuke put his hand over her mouth, then took on a face that he _thought_ looked lady-like. "Oh gosh, Sasuke, _everyone_ knows of you and Naruto already. So, what's the new spice called?" Sasuke turned his attention to the old man - who seemed to have no name whatsoever - again and gave him a sparkling smile.

"Uh... actually, it's not new..." the old man stuttered, dazzled - but not in a good way! - by Sasuke's smile.

"Ha! So you _did _use something different!" Naruto jumped to Sasuke's weak lady-shoulders and pointed accusingly at the old man. "I knew it!"

"I knew it first!" Kakashi jumped to the 'stage', flashing his bare chest around. Another passer-by fainted. "Because I, Uzumaki Naruto and no one else, have eaten Ichiraku's raamen for so long I can tell every change in it! Hatake Kakashi, that handsome man and the best ninja ever, doesn't eat raamen so often to know it as well as I do! Believe it!" he then added as an afterthought.

Again, everyone stared.

Naruto glared at Kakashi with his only showing eye. "Oh yes, Naruto-kun", he then chirped and put his arms around Kakashi - which looked like Kakashi the famous pervert was hugging his team mate in very strange way. A large audience had once again found Team 7, and was staring at the show with interest. "You are so wise! Of course I didn't taste it myself, I just wanted the credit to myself, being the old loser I am I can do nothing on my own. But you, my handsome Naruto - who even managed to snatch the famous Ice Queen Uchiha Sasuke to himself - " Naruto was cut off with a pair of soft, feminine lips on his own.

"KYAAAAAAA!" screamed the newly founded Kakashi/Sakura fans in joy.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed the real Kakashi and Sakura and jumped to pull Naruto and Sasuke apart.

"Can you please prepare us each dishes just like you did yesterday?" Sakura finally managed to say after a long fight with her own body possessed by Sasuke, who seemed to have learned the basics of cat fighting in just a few seconds. "And make it quick", she added and glanced cautiously at the hovering mass of fans behind them. It could take only a moment before the fans would break out and attack them.

Kakashi on the other hand had locked Naruto somewhere between his legs and was now posing to the cameras, sitting comfortably on his own body's neck, out of reach from Naruto's murderous hands.

The old man stared, then left to make the raamen. Who knew what Team 7 might do if they didn't get their food in time...

"Oh gosh, Naruto-kun!" Naruto chirped to Kakashi, loud enough for the audience to hear. "You're so strong I can't get out of your grasp. Not that I would want to..."

Kakashi twitched, then let Naruto free. "Oh Kakashi, I'm so sorry! I didn't even notice you under me, I'm so used to having men under me that I thought it was normal!"

Naruto twitched.

SMACK!

Both Naruto and Kakashi held their cheeks and stared.

Sakura and Sasuke held their fists in the air, ready to hit again if needed. "Shut up..." they growled.

"Uh... your raamen..."

"Great!" the three - of course not Sasuke - yelled in unison, and with only 27 seconds of loud slurping they all had finished their portions. Even Sasuke.

And just like they had done the whole time, the audience stared.

Naruto grinned, his mask still in place like he hadn't even removed it while eating, which he probably hadn't. "Well, that was great, but I think I gotta go to sleep now. See ya!" he said and ran off.

"Yeah, look at the clock, it's almost midnight!" Kakashi chorused and left as quickly.

"Oh yes, I have to get my beauty sleep..." Sasuke said cautiously, glancing at Sakura in case she suddenly decided that was the wrong thing to say. When no punch came, he left too.

Sakura looked after her body, then turned her eyes at the audience and smiled. A few of the weakest girls fainted. "I should be going too... Naruto must be missing me already", she said, winking, and another girl and a boy fainted.

"GET GOING ALREADY!" came a sudden screech from where Sasuke had gone.

Sakura pouted and rubbed her temples. "He didn't have to yell that loud..." She gave last look to the audience who still thought she was the real Sasuke. Well, why wouldn't they? Most of them thought his strange behaviour were to be blamed on his coming out of the closet... and Naruto.

"See ya later", Sakura said, winking, flashing his pearl white teeth, and showing them one last move with his pelvis.

About 34 percent of them fainted at this.

The old man stared, blood slowly dripping from his nose. "Coming out of the closet sure did him good..."


	6. Chapter 6

**Dislaimer:** All the characters in this fic are Masashi Kishimoto's.

**Summary:** Sasuke realized a few things. He had gotten shorter. His legs were curvier than before. And he had turned into Sakura. (Team 7 body switch, NaruSasu, humour)

**A/N:** Finally the epilogue. I'm sorry I'm so late, but I've been writing this online only, and for a month I haven't even been near a computer. Let's hope this epilogue is worth the wait! And thank you for all the lovely reviews! :D

**Btw**, it's good if you have read Naruto up to, umm... 355th ch, because there's a new character making a short appearence at the end of this epilogue... I hope you get who he is. :D

* * *

**The Day After The Disaster**

A new morning had risen in the village of Konoha. Everything seemed peaceful, the birds were chirping, the sun shone, the sky was clear blue. It was just like any other day.

Except that it seemed like the whole population of Konoha had gone crazy.

For Uchiha Sasuke.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun!"

"Kiss me, Sasuke-kun!"

"Morning, Sasuke-_chan_!"

The instance the last syllable was said, Sasuke stopped, trembling from anger, his face so dark it darkened the whole sky.

The guy who had greeted him froze. "Eh...?"

"Don't. Ever. Chan. Me!"

The over-friendly guy was sent flying, and Sasuke continued his journey, suddenly a lot more happier.

Kakashi was walking peacefully down the road to Ichiraku, not even any of his Icha Icha's in hand. He was doing nothing wrong, nothing that would scare the kids or teach them wrong morals. No. He was walking just like any other person in the village.

"KAKASHI! MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"

So why, oh why did the gods want to punish him so early in the morning?

"Gai", Kakashi said indifferently, and hurried his pace. He needed to get away now!

"Wait! I have something important to tell you."

Gai's tone made Kakashi finally stop and turn around. He sounded serious. "What is it?"

SMACK!

In less than a second Kakashi found himself in the ground, holding his red and bleeding cheeck, his eye as big as the sun in the perfect blue sky as he stared at Maito Gai, like a questionmark come to life.

"How could you do it? How could you! Taking away her sweet youth with your sick tricks! I am so DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!" The rest of the words came screeching in a very manly voice, and Hatake Kakashi morphed into a dozen of questionmarks.

"What?"

"AND YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW YOU KISSED SAKURA! I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!"

"WHAT!"

The lovely sun was shining onto Sakura, making her hair shine like never before, warm her heart and her whole body... or was it just her?

Well, whatever was the source of the warmth - or rather hotness - she felt, it just _forced _her to do it. Yes, it was the heat.

She just _had_ to flirt to that pretty girl over there.

"Morning", she said, smiling softly, a slightly wicked glint in her eyes.

"Ah, m-morning..." the girl said, blushing fiercely. "M-may I help you?"

"No need to", Sakura said, still smiling, deciding not just yet to take a step closer in fear of the girl fainting. "I was just wondering what a pretty girl like you is doing alone on such a fine day."

"Ah, um..." The girl let out many sounds that didn't sound like any word Sakura knew.

"Please don't tell me you are waiting for someone", Sakura said, taking a step carefully closer, "because I would love to take you out for a cup of tea."

"Ah..." the girl said, or rather squeaked, and turned as red as the reddest tomato anyone had ever seen. "Yes! I m-mean... please!"

Sakura smirked victoriously. Taking a bottle of Sasuke's sweat and using it like perfume to wrap people around her little finger was really as good an idea as she had thought, no matter how disgusting it had sounded.

"Shall we go then", Sakura smiled to the girl. The guys could wait a bit, because this girl was seriously cute, even in the eyes of a straight girl.

Though no one would bet their money on Sakura's heterosexuality after this incident...

Strange, thought Naruto as he walked his usual route to Ichiraku. It seemed as if the looks people gave him were somehow... perverted.

Yes, what else would he think as everyone stared after him, drooling.

And especially as one older woman whispered to her husband: "Oh, what a fine piece of abs he is hiding under that jumpsuit..."

As the husband answered "Yeah, babe!" Naruto twitched and decided to walk a little faster.

Not that it helped, since it seemed as if the sudden knowledge of Naruto's 'gorgeous lower area' as someone had it described, had driven at least half of the population of Konoha nuts for him, and it seemed that no matter where he went there would be someone trying to rip his shirt off. Or pants, if they were brave enough, but those who dared to try were usually sent flying straight away.

But luckily, he yet again found one good thing about Konoha's sudden turn into The Village Hidden Within Preverts; he now had a sexy no jutsu for both gay and straight women and men! Only with a sudden lift of his shirt he could make about dozen gay guys and straight girls faint, and the rest he could take out with the sexy no jutsu form.

The only problem was that Naruto just _had_ to try the both sides, so wherever he went, people fainted like weak straws of grass in the rainy season.

Which meant a lot.

"Good morning, Naruto", greeted the old man of Ichiraku.

"Mornin'", answered Naruto, a hand ready to rip his shirt off to test his abs on this man too. Then a thought came into his mind; who would make raamen if he made this man faint? So he only sat down and made his order, not even once stopping to wonder whether the Sexy no jutsu would have been a better choice.

"So, where's Sasuke?" the old man asked, looking hopefully towards the road where Naruto had appeared, giving an answer to the question Naruto never made.

"What? I don't know. It's not like we spent the night together..."

"Though you really would have wanted to, isn't that right?"

"In your dreams", Naruto hmphed and gave Sasuke a quick glance under his eyebrows. Because no one knew what he might do know that he had the control of his own body. He might even claim that everything that happened yesterday should be blamed on Sakura's - and Kakashi's - hormones.

Sasuke bent over and wrapped his arms around Naruto, whispering: "How did you know?" and the old man almost bleed right into Naruto's raamen at this. Thank god he had learned from yesterday and had a tissue ready at hand.

"Heb uh go", the old man mumbled into his tissue, probably meaning 'here you go', then gave Naruto the raamen and disapperead at the back of Ichiraku.

Naruto and Sasuke stared after him for a moment, until another voice distracted them.

"So, I'll see you later?"

"Ah, y-yes."

Naruto and Sasuke turned just in time to see Sakura giving a light kiss to a seriously cute girl, even in the eyes of two gay guys in the middle of enjoying each other in ways that could be done in public. Not that many of the villagers would have cared if they went further... but the point was, the girl was seriously cute.

"Bye", Sakura waved at the girl, who wobbled away like she was already drunk at this time of the day.

Naruto and Sasuke stared, Sasuke still hanging around Naruto's neck.

"What's going on?"

"Don't you guys think she is _so_ cute?" Sakura asked and turned to look at her teammates. "I mean, even I can see it though I don't feel attracted to girls..."

"Yeah right..." Naruto mumbled and turned to his raamen. "And Sasuke, you're choking me, could you get off."

"Not yet!" A light flashed three times, and all three members of Team 7 turned to look at the old man. He was holding a camera in his hands. "Ok, you can get off now."

"Hey hey hey, what you doing? I thought I could at least trust to have some peace in _here_ - "

"If you show some good action for me, that raamen is free."

"Deal!" Naruto said and grabbed Sasuke to a kiss, his hands travelling straight away under Sasuke's shirt and into his pants. And the light flashed as the old man took pictures.

Sakura stared, blood dripping from her nose.

"Woah! I heard the rumours but I really didn't believe them to be _this_ true..."

Ino stood next to Sakura, looking at Sasuke and Naruto stripping each other on the counter of Ichiraku. And the old man had grabbed a videocamera from somewhere and was now filming them.

"Oh, and Sakura, congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" Ino said and glomped Sakura.

"For what?" Sakura asked, trying to get a breath under Ino's crushing hold. "Um, Ino... Are you _sniffing_ me?"

"You smell so good today", Ino said and pressed her nose against the nape of Sakura's neck. "Mmm, I could stay here all day..."

"Don't", Sakura said and pushed Ino further. She was not going to waste the effort she put on getting the seriously cute girl just because Ino said she smelled nice. "What did you come here for?"

"What? Can't I even come meet you without any secret motives?"

Sakura sighed and pushed Ino away again. "You already said 'congratulations', so for what? Ino-pig..."

"Let me tell you for what!"

The loud scream Kakashi let out scared even Naruto and Sasuke back into their clothes, which took surprisignly short time considering how much they had to dress.

"Those two...!" Kakashi was so angry he couldn't get a word out of his mouth. He only pointed at Sasuke and Naruto and screeched his teeth.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at the steam coming from his ears and decided it was definitely not a good sign.

"What did you do?" Sakura asked, her fist already ready to punch the two. Well, it would have been, if Ino wasn't holding it down while trying to smell Sakura. "Ino, let go so I can kill those two."

"What? Why?" Only then Ino realized Kakashi was there. She smiled sweetly at him. "Congratulations!"

The flow of steam stopped after Ino's comment. "What?"

"Congratulations", Ino said again, this time slowly and clearly like Kakashi hadn't heard the word. "For you two. I'm so happy for you."

"What?" Kakashi and Sakura chorused, their attention turned to the blond girl, and this was when the two boys decided it was their time to run away to somewhere safe to enjoy themselves. And that they did.

"For you two getting together, of course", Ino said, keeping on sniffing Sakura, which was now easy as Sakura was so frozen after the information Ino said that Ino could have stripped her without her complaining.

"What?" Kakashi and Sakura chorused again, this time very, very slowly while giving Ino two piercing gazes that left her no way to run.

Ino tried her best to hide into Sakura's shirt. "Don't you remember? Just yesterday you were all over each other, even kissing in front of Maito Gai though everyone knows he's such a gossiper..."

"What! We never did such!" Sakura screamed, veins popping on her forehead. "And get out of my bra!"

"Actually, Sakura..." Kakashi peeped, afraid for his life to interrupt what looked like The Long Planned Murder Of Ino, but he hoped to save his and Ino's life by sacrificing the two most promising ninjas in the village, also known as Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. "..._'we'_ did."

"_'We'_ did?" Sakura repeats slowly, her eyes dangerously red.

"Oh dear, Sakura, can't you remember?" Ino dares to speak up. "Oh, how happy and horny and in love you were yesterday, and today you don't even have a _clue_ of what happened! How could you forget the day you found you love? How tragic, how sad... Maybe I could sell your story to some magazine...?"

"You're not selling anything!" Sakura snarled and snapped Ino's hand that was dangerously close to those areas she preferred to keep under clothing in public. "And for your information, we were drunk yesterday. All four of us! Actually, we were so drunk we acted like madmen and can barely remember what happened yesterday."

"Well, that explains a lot..." Ino murmured and turned her eyes towards Kakashi after trying to get into Sakura's shirt for half an hour with no much success. She winked. "Hey there, handsome."

At times like this Kakashi was happy he had his mask, because otherwise Sakura would have seen his blush and the blood that came from his nose. He didn't want to risk anything now, because Sakura looked ready to kill everyone that crossed her path.

A mad glint in her reddening eyes Sakura turned to Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei..."

Kakashi gulped. "Yes, Sakura-san?"

"Make them _suffer_."

Kakashi sighed with relief over his poor soul. So Sakura wasn't going to kill him. "Yes, ma'am."

"And wipe that blood off."

Yet.

"No fair, you've got such a hot teacher who you don't want, yet you don't let me have him", Ino pouted. "Or... maybe you're secretly in love with him, but due to these circumstances you can't confess, because after your drunken day together you would feel too embarrassed and - "

"Ah, he-hello, Sakura-san."

The girl, who even Ino would call seriously cute, stood next to Sakura, blushing in a very sexy way behind her bangs.

"Hello", Sakura said, turning to her, suddenly very calm and collected. Though her hands seemed to have wondered their own ways onto the girl. "Missed me already?"

The girl blushed more, and even the old man of Ichiraku turned from his new collection of R-rated Pictures Of Naruto And Sasuke In Action to gawk at her cuteness.

Sakura gave him a glare and pushed Ino off with the hand that wasn't groping the girl in a very sophisticated way. "Let's leave, ok?"

"Yes, please..." the girl said, giving a weird glance at the old man and Ino.

"Oh, and Ino", Sakura said before leaving. "Please keep Kakashi all to yourself."

Long, long after they were gone did Ino snap out of her stance and come up with a reply to Sakura. "Like I want him anymore after _her_..."

"Excuse me..." said a voice that gained Ino's attention. Slowly, trying her best to give off a dramatic and sexy aura, she turned around and looked at the speaker.

It was the hottiest, manliest man Ino had ever seen. Oh, that tall body, those muscles, that wild, brown red hair, yet those eyes, so soft and caring... Though that shirt - oh god, it couldn't even be called a shirt! - was horrible, but who cares! Once they got married Ino could buy all his clothes.

"Hey..." Ino said in her sexiest voice ever, fluttering her eyelashes so much one barely saw the colour of her eyes.

The Manliest Man Ever turned to her. "Uh, hello?"

"Wanna go out with me?"

The Manliest Man Ever stared at Ino, his mouth hanging open, a deep blush appearing at his cheeks. "Oh, um... Okay..."

"Perfect!" Ino chirped and grabbed the arm of The Manliest Man Ever, immediately finding a perfect spot for her next to him. "Let's walk around a bit, shall we?"

"Uh... okay."

And so they walked together until the sunset - which came quite early due to their country's geographical location - and even a bit more after, birds chirping around them, seeming to sing love songs for The Manliest Man Ever. They didn't even care when Naruto and Sasuke crossed their path, screaming for help, followed closely by a murderous Kakashi, nor did they care when they accidentally bumped into Sakura and the cutest girl ever - though to Ino's huge relief The Manliest Man Ever told her she was prettier than any girl - or man alive, to which Ino commented a lot and found out The Manliest Man Ever had meant Uchiha Sasuke, to which Ino laughed and kissed him, and they fell into a position that was comparable to the position Sakura and the cute girl were in when they bumped into them, though Ino and The Manlies Man Ever didn't go _nearly _as far as they.

Oh, young love...

The End Of The Disaster


End file.
